Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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