Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
of course. lets lasso hookers.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
