Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So squirting runs in the family.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
