I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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