Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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