this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
