I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
