i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Sext me about skeletons
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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