Banned from zoo.
Again?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
