I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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