there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize