Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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