I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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