he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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