I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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