im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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