Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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