Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize