Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
