I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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