And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
