And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
