what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
