Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
