I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
