Non-Jews are for practice
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
