I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
