Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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