Little spoons don't ask big questions
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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