I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
