yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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