I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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