He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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