carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
