he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We smell like vodka and hangover
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
