Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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