i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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