awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
