drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
MIDGETS
????
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
