Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
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