I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
