It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
