I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
