idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
