So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
