WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize