There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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