you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
