I must be too annoying 4 u.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize