I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
