While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
