Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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