why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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