what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
