just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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