May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
