I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
