I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
