do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
