Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize