Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
