Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
