its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
