Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's never too late to be topless.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
