His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize