how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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