im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
